I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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