Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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