So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
