first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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