is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
