After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
