the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
