I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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