I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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