I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
