your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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