Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
no, he came in my armpit
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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