they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Shame is for Republicans.
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