1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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