Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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