Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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