Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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