i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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