Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
