Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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