Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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