So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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