Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
