I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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