Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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