I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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