I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
