yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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