I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
