You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
