My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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