That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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