Sponge bath it is.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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