We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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