You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
