Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
