she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
