you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
