I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You don't make any sense
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