i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
