Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
