So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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