you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize