garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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