I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
