So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
