his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
