Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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