then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
