Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
