Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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