my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
