The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
