I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
