If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
