Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
