Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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