watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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